“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
– Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed
Relationships are perhaps the most rewarding, yet the most challenging, aspects of our lives. Most of us have occasional problems with relationships, not only with our intimate partners, but also with other family members, friends, coworkers, or neighbors. Relationship difficulties cause us significant distress because we are social creatures who need relationships to survive.
When the tension in a relationship is ongoing, it becomes a source of chronic stress. Ongoing relationship problems can lead to the development of symptoms of anxiety or depression. For example, you may lie awake at night unable to sleep because your mind is racing. You may feel irritable or angry all the time. You may have difficulty concentrating and making decisions. You may doubt your self-worth. You may lose your appetite or overeat comfort foods. You may feel tension in your body that manifests as headaches or digestive problems.
Many people turn to counseling when relationship difficulties are threatening their job, family, mental health, or physical health or safety. As a former domestic violence treatment provider, I am trained and experienced in helping people with problematic relationships. Often having healthier relationships is a matter of changing old patterns and learning new skills. Some of the relationship skills I help people develop are listed here:
- Learn to communicate assertively to express your feelings and get your needs met without damaging your relationships.
- Learn how to actively listen so the other person feels understood.
- Stop the cycle of verbal abuse in your family.
- Learn to trust yourself and others again after having been hurt in a relationship.
- Reduce social anxiety so you can improve and increase your social interactions.
- Overcome the fear of Intimacy.
- Forgive others as a way of letting go of resentment.
- Learn how to handle tense family interactions.
- Repair or rebuild strained relationships.
- Change unhealthy relationship patterns that you learned from previous generations.
- Reduce codependency and become more independent.
- Learn how to model healthy communication and relationship skills for your children.
- Learn to control your angry outbursts.
- Learn to cope with loneliness while you work on increasing your social circle.
If you are struggling with any of these or similar relationship issues, I am here to support you and help you make the changes you desire to improve your relationships, so you can have the happy and fulfilling relationships you deserve.